Love
Dust in the crack and crevices
Cobwebs on her hands and dress
She stares through space, as if dead
For years, not a single word from her lips has been said
Sunlight passes through the window’s once pristine glass
But warmth this doesn’t give her
Cold and stiff, she sits
From her slumped position she doesn’t stir
The clock continues ticking
Its tiny hands move steadily
Time passed by, wasted
And yet, she sits still, staring blankly
No other sound can be heard
No thumping or another heart beating
She’s isolated and caged in a room
Living in her own dismal world
When will her ears hear another sound?
Keys jingling, a knob slowly turning?
Young beauty, frozen in a corner
Never lost, yet was never found
was never found? u sure??
nyways.. try fixing the format.. i guess there’s something wrong with it..
the allegory is nice.. a desolate soul seeking refuge in solace.. haha nice piece.. i think you could make it better..
¼Achilles said this on February 6, 2007 at 11:15 pm |
“For years, not a single words from her lips has been said” — word, not words
“But warmth this doesn’t give her” — i don’t get it.
“From her slumped position she doesn’t stir” — stir isnt the right word…
“Never lost, yet was never found” — good line:)
you lost it in the 3rd and the 4th stanzas. try revising. i think you can do better.
r said this on March 31, 2007 at 2:12 pm |